Turns out, that road to self-improvement is a rough ride...

You may or may not have read my manifesto from close to a year ago wherein I declared that I was done obsessing about vanity pounds and translating weight and body fat into markers of self-worth and allowing the superficial ideal of being lean and "ideal" to permeate my feelings and impact my day.  I thought you might be interested (or not) in an update on how that's going for me.  The truth is, it's really tough to find balance.  I definitely tipped the teeter-totter to the other side and, over the course of the past ten months, have not cried myself a river over the scale and have more or less tried to eat intuitively like a normal person.  For a good while there I did not gain weight, but slowly weight (definitely fat) gain has insidiously spread across my belly.  It definitely bothers me, because it's so hard to lose weight.  I don't feel like a bad person as a result, but recognize that I need to examine my choices and tweak my lifestyle before I look (or feel) like this:

OK, the truth is lately I sometimes feel like our friend Jabba the Hutt.  Which is bad since I continue to be a normal healthy weight.  It's that sort of internalization that I need to fight against.  At the same time, we feel better eating well (at least I do) so some of it might be a feedback loop or something.  Anyhow, blah blah blah the point is that I am still working on finding that perfect balance where I am mentally healthy, physically healthy and well-nourished and not fat.  It's hard, man.

from http://www.follymuseum.com/

Going to the Sun

Finally the weather is acting like Spring!  This weekend we have sun and warmer temperatures.  It is terribly frustrating to be unable to run on days like this -- but Ted was kind enough to join me on a lovely bike ride on the Going to the Sun Road in Glacier National Park.  

I love this guy



This time of year the road is being plowed but is not yet open to vehicle traffic.  Bikes are allowed, however, which is just awesome.  We were able to ride about 16 miles round trip without worrying about trucks running us over.  

With platform pedals I can ride in my walking cast boot thingie

There is really a lot of snow still.  I wonder whether things will melt very quickly or whether it will be August before we can really do the serious hiking I am dying to do.  It's fun checking progress.

Nothing to see here

While in Billings -- soon after my last blog post in fact -- I broke my toe in my apartment.  I really needed a snack and couldn't be bothered to turn on lights or slow my pace as I headed full-speed towards the pantry.  Or the kitchen island... I can't run for at least a couple more weeks.  Could be a few more weeks.  I can barely walk really.  I am more fully appreciating how important being outside is to my mental health.  It's not even just being able to run -- if I could go for a little hike I'd be pretty happy.  I may see if I can take my cruiser out for a spin today -- I think my bike shoes would hurt brokey the toe if I tried to take my real road bike out.  Anyhow, I don't care for injuries.  Especially stupid careless pointless injuries.  Of course, Grandma posits that it was my body's way of telling me I exercise too much.  LOL.

Billings

courtesy of "KROBB" on Flickr (which I found through Google)

I am in week 2 of a 3 week stint in Billings for work.  I am super busy but still trying to carve out some time to run.  This morning I found some fun single track along the "rim rock" high above the city of Billings -- "Swords Park" is how it is known 'round here.  The single track snakes along the cliff's edge, reminding me that this is not an early morning headlamp run.  The landscape is truly beautiful, save the hideous oil refineries that I associate closely with this place.  I am trying to find a place in my heart for Billings.  It has great potential.