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| Quantrill's Raid (some Lawrence history fer ya) |
When I go to Lawrence, it's a flood of nondescript but strong feelings. I am reminded of all the friends that I am no longer close to, which feels like (right or wrong) a personal failure. I am reminded of what humid body-temperature air feels like at dusk and my friend's completely fabricated girlfriend Star (I think that was her name). I am reminded of what it feels like to be approximately 13-22 (i.e. batshit crazy). Those little "non-pareils" come to mind -- which I bought at Penny Annie's and binged on in the fifth grade (they look like Hershey's kisses but they're mint and have little white sprinkes on the bottom).
(It is no coincidence that I have a strong affinity for midwestern country gravel roads. They are different from other country roads).
I feel deeply connected to the place, yet have no real connections there anymore. It's really no longer "my town" in any discernible way, though there's no other place I identify with more closely than Lawrence. I suppose this disconnect from "home" is the curse of the itchy-footed.
4 comments:
I totally feel that for some places I have lived in the past. I think it's more attached to the life-changing moments than geography...but powerful nonetheless. :)
Yeah, I think about this as I decide whether to put money down for a more permanent dwelling in CO.
It's great, don't get me wrong, but hmmm... what part? And what about the deep snow in UT? The longer warmer seasons in CA? The long seasons and dry air of NM or AZ? etc. etc. Ack. Too many great places.
I almost grew up in Lawrence, since once upon a time my dad got a job offer at KU.
Karen I think you're right. You're so smart :-)
Jeff that's pretty funny. Lawrence was a good place to grow up. And I have no idea how to choose among so many great places though CO is pretty awesome. And borders Kansas!
I have strong memories of Lawrence, too, even though I only lived there for a short while. My mom went to law school at KU during the time I was in college, so I got to visit Lawrence several times and then lived there the summer after college, before I moved to CA. I remember 4th of July down by the river, the hitching posts in front of the old mansions, the cute shops and diners on Mass. Ave., and SO many liquor stores! Drinking seemed to be the main pastime there. :D
I get that guilty feeling about leaving friends behind, too, but in my case they were in Garland, TX. Itchy-footed folk like us have to move on, but it amazes me how many are content to stick around the same place their whole lives. I kind of admire it but don't really get it.
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