My exhausting anti-adrenaline campaign (Mount Reynolds)

If you don't already know, I have a love-hate relationship with heights.  I love them because they're where the mountains are, but I hate them because, well, they're scary.  This fear of heights is part of my ongoing saga with learning to ski and trying really hard to become more proficient at mountaineering.  It is also the thing that keeps me from being able to do all the cool climbs/scrambles/"hikes" off-trail that some of my friends do.  I am actively working on this fear while still recognizing that I basically lack the stomach and skill to do what I can do in my active imagination.  Even without those two things (stomach and skill), there are still attainable climbs in the Park. 

On Sunday my friends Tom (of bear bite fame), Amber and I climbed Mount Reynolds.  Based on my careful study of the bible of climbing in the Park (by J. Gordon Edwards) as well as the newer guide to climbing in the Park (Passmore), I determined that the easiest route up Reynolds was a route I could handle.  Nonetheless I was a tad nervous that it would actually be horrible.  Anticipatory fear is the worst enemy I have in these endeavors.


Danni and Amber near summit (photo by Tom)

Tom is pretty experienced climbing in the Park and thought my planned route might be too tame and suggested a route with significantly more exposure.  I temporarily agreed but nearly started crying out of sheer anticipatory terror.  I heeded my mantra of "be kind to yourself Danni" and insisted we do the "easy" route (Class II(3)). 

Danni, Amber and Tom

The route, once you leave the established trail, is still largely trail.  This is a very popular climb and a "social" trail is well worn nearly the entire way.  Further, there are rock cairns marking the route so it leaves little room for confusion or error.  There were so many people climbing that it would have been difficult to mess up even without the obvious path and cairns.  Don't tell my friend Brad that I didn't knock them all over as he instructed me to do.

photo by Tom

It wasn't easy, despite being easy relative to other climbs in the Park.  I got a tad nervous climbing the "scree slog" -- not rationally but I do not like the feeling of the earth sliding away from me as I try to ascend.  It all comes down to control and it takes some time to realize that you can, actually, control your footing more or less in scree.  It seems a lot like lacking control though and takes some getting used to.  It's not my first time in scree but this was sort of a refresher.

photo by Tom

This hike felt like a bit of a breakthrough since I quickly realized I was totally fine.  When we made it to the summit and I had no moments of terror at all, I was elated.  It is such a liberating feeling to not feel terror on an adventure that could, on the wrong day or with slightly different conditions, send adrenaline pulsing through my veins.  Adrenaline makes me want to vomit.  For real.  I hate it. 

It was smoky, thus it was slightly less than perfect view-wise.  Nonetheless, the views were pretty good.

Amber walks along the ledge

I am pretty darn proud of myself.  Slowly I will conquor my fear and be limited only by a rational evaluation of risk.  I'd rather my brain be in control.  Visceral responses are unsettling.  Again, it comes back to control.  I didn't realize I was such a control freak :-)

Amber and Tom lead the downclimb

It's all worth it to experience these amazing places with amazing friends.

Time to prepare for winter. Yeah, I said that.

I'm definitely not running the Bear 100 or doing any more races in 2012 that involve travel.  It's possible I'll run Le Grizz again for fun, but that depends on various factors.  Anyhow, my goal, odd as it might seem given how active I am (or, rather, appear to be based on my selective social-media sharing), is to just regain basic fitness.


Kent, Amber, me and Rhino in the Jewel Basin last Sunday

 I can hike many miles but I'm not really even in running shape anymore.  I've been really lazy during the work week and haven't been running.  I have, of course, been a glutton (big surprise) and have gained some weight.  I feel like garbage.


Mukwah and Rhino at Wildcat Lake

 Thus, starting yesterday, I'm just returning to running with an eye towards resuming lifting again and being substantially more mindful in my diet (especially, ahem, liquid calories).  All I want really is to return to my fitness level of last winter, which wasn't anything special but was good enough for me.  Allison just posted pictures from last winter on Facebook and the first thing I noticed was how much better I looked than I do now.  Not that's totally about vanity, but maybe some... anyhow, sort of a boring proclamation, especially coming from someone who pretty much always claims this goal, but it's just part of the yearly cycle of me (get fit, get fat, get fit, get fat...).     

When you run out of vacation time half way through the year...

heading up to Hyalite Peak

 You might have read my blog and thought: "does that woman ever go to work?"  Unfortunately, I suspect some of my co-workers ask themselves the same question and that is not really a good thing.  I was recently told, enthusiastically, by an employee that he admired me in particular because I, more than anyone, "work to live" rather than live to work.  The truth is that I am very work-oriented and don't find such comments to be compliments.  It's tells me that maybe I've been having a wee bit too much fun.  Or maybe just too visibly.  In any case my focus for the rest of the year is work.

the peak from the saddle pictured above

 Does that mean I can't have adventures?  OF COURSE NOT.  I had already blocked out the weekend for my annual hiking adventure with Grizzly Glacier Running Club friends, but with Deb breaking her ankle and everyone being insanely busy, the hike dissipated.  Allison was on her way home from Billings to Helena and I was in Bozeman for work, so after she refused to let me flake out and bail on the whole thing, we met up in Bozeman and hiked and camped and were merry.

Allison surveys the smoke

The initial plan was to do the Devil's Backbone course, which is an amazing 50 miler in the Gallatin Range.  I envisioned us doing half of it but we didn't have the vehicle support to shuttle or anything.  Plus, we had dinner with a dear client turned friend Friday night that continued on with olympic watching at the bar, so we got a somewhat late start in any case.  Thus, we started at the Hyalite Creek trailhead late morning with the goal of hiking about 20 miles.

heading out on the Devil's Backbone

We hiked up Hyalite Peak, the out a bit along the Devil's Backbone course before we began fixating on dinner and beer, which prompted a half-mile-early turn around.  We got in 19 miles of relaxed hiking and gorged on sushi before returning to the Hyalite Canyon to camp.  So to summarize, when you travel for work you can make it into a mini-vacation that makes you forget about the working part.  And hanging out with your client friends looks a lot like marketing.  There you go.

134 Miles of Glacier National Park

our route with the circles being where we stayed

I've been procrastinating doing a write up of the 134 mile backpacking trip I took last week since it's pretty difficult to discuss an entire week of awesome in a coherent and interesting manner.  Plus, it was more or less a week of the simple task of walking, eating, setting up camp and breaking down camp.  The  views were beautiful, the company was fabulous and it was everything I hoped for.  I had never done a trip that long (8 days/7 nights) but I feel like I can safely say I really enjoyed being out that long.  (I'm sure it helped that we had pretty good weather).  I may think of other things to say later, but for now I'll do a list of 10 things to tell you about my trip.

Dave, Amber, me and Meghan at Bowman Lake

1.   I wore the same shirt for the entire 8 days.  (Lululemon run swiftly short sleeve).  It held up well and had minimal stench and rinsed well and dried quickly.  I am a huge fan of that shirt.

looking up at Hole in the Wall

2. We spent a lot of time making stupid noises and singing silly songs but I never tired of any of it. I absolutely loved it each time Amber would say "bear bear bear bear" in a funny gruff but sing-songy way. I actually enjoyed every second of being with my friends.

below Stony Indian Pass

3. My pack ended up weighing 33 pounds with 2 L of water and all my food. It became lighter as the trip wore on of course. I used virtually everything that I brought except for some emergency safety stuff, which is fine, so very little seemed like "extra." To save weight in the future I think I'd need a lighter pack (mine was almost 4 pounds though I love it) and to carry less water (which is easy to do in GNP since there is water everywhere).  Speaking of weight, we jokingly called (and will call) our backpacking trip "fat camp."  However, I'm not sure I actually lost any weight.  Sad. :p

Meghan at Elizabeth Lake

4. After not brushing my hair for 8 days it seemed like it almost all fell out in the shower once I was home. I didn't completely realize that, like my dogs, we shed continually. Duh.

Enjoying a bit of a cheat in the middle of backpacking

5. Speaking of dogs, Rhino punctured and discharged and entire canister of bear spray promptly upon my return home. My dad likened it to popping open a bottle of champagne. An expensive one...

Amber and Meghan at Grinnell Lake (I think)

6. Piegan Pass is perhaps my new favorite in the Park. Stunning -- I think going up from the Many Glacier side (aka the "wrong" and "hard" way) is the way to go. Total Sound of Music territory. 

Meghan enjoying another pass success (Piegan Pass)

7. Two of our nights were in developed car camping areas so we got to enjoy a cheat break enjoying meals out and civilization. In the future, I will remember that we don't need that box of wine for camp after the beers with dinner. It makes for a less awesome next day. Just FYI.

Ready to get up Cut Bank Pass, now with Sonya in the mix!

8. It was fun to have the core posse of me, Meghan and Amber but have Dave hike the first few miles with us and my new friend Sonya join for a couple of days. Deb was supposed to meet us one day but unfortunately broke her ankle on the "Broken Leg" trail a few days earlier. Imagine that.

almost up Cut Bank Pass (Sonya, Amber and Meghan)

9.  I thought often of my friend Leslie who just started a thru hike on the Pacific Crest Trail.  I previously thought I wouldn't necessarily enjoy such an endeavor, but after this week and after meeting two CDT thru hikers I am more interested in the possibility.  Perhaps this is just because I'm now back at work and would love to be back out there.

Meghan and Sonya head towards Dawson Pass

10.  For the first time in a decade, I went the whole week (A WHOLE WEEK!!!) without checking email or voicemail or having any electronic connection to the outside world.  I did use a payphone to call Ted to verify pickup plans.  There is no cell access in the Park and perhaps this aspect of it was one of the best.  I tend to get pretty wrapped up in my job (not that my partners likely think so -- I think it seems to them like I do nothing but run and go on vacation) so it was nice to take a true breather.

That was 10 things.  Perhaps there will be more.  Perhaps not.  On the whole, I love backpacking.  To me this was an ideal vacation.  Next time I am making Ted go out with me for a week.