My exhausting anti-adrenaline campaign (Mount Reynolds)

If you don't already know, I have a love-hate relationship with heights.  I love them because they're where the mountains are, but I hate them because, well, they're scary.  This fear of heights is part of my ongoing saga with learning to ski and trying really hard to become more proficient at mountaineering.  It is also the thing that keeps me from being able to do all the cool climbs/scrambles/"hikes" off-trail that some of my friends do.  I am actively working on this fear while still recognizing that I basically lack the stomach and skill to do what I can do in my active imagination.  Even without those two things (stomach and skill), there are still attainable climbs in the Park. 

On Sunday my friends Tom (of bear bite fame), Amber and I climbed Mount Reynolds.  Based on my careful study of the bible of climbing in the Park (by J. Gordon Edwards) as well as the newer guide to climbing in the Park (Passmore), I determined that the easiest route up Reynolds was a route I could handle.  Nonetheless I was a tad nervous that it would actually be horrible.  Anticipatory fear is the worst enemy I have in these endeavors.


Danni and Amber near summit (photo by Tom)

Tom is pretty experienced climbing in the Park and thought my planned route might be too tame and suggested a route with significantly more exposure.  I temporarily agreed but nearly started crying out of sheer anticipatory terror.  I heeded my mantra of "be kind to yourself Danni" and insisted we do the "easy" route (Class II(3)). 

Danni, Amber and Tom

The route, once you leave the established trail, is still largely trail.  This is a very popular climb and a "social" trail is well worn nearly the entire way.  Further, there are rock cairns marking the route so it leaves little room for confusion or error.  There were so many people climbing that it would have been difficult to mess up even without the obvious path and cairns.  Don't tell my friend Brad that I didn't knock them all over as he instructed me to do.

photo by Tom

It wasn't easy, despite being easy relative to other climbs in the Park.  I got a tad nervous climbing the "scree slog" -- not rationally but I do not like the feeling of the earth sliding away from me as I try to ascend.  It all comes down to control and it takes some time to realize that you can, actually, control your footing more or less in scree.  It seems a lot like lacking control though and takes some getting used to.  It's not my first time in scree but this was sort of a refresher.

photo by Tom

This hike felt like a bit of a breakthrough since I quickly realized I was totally fine.  When we made it to the summit and I had no moments of terror at all, I was elated.  It is such a liberating feeling to not feel terror on an adventure that could, on the wrong day or with slightly different conditions, send adrenaline pulsing through my veins.  Adrenaline makes me want to vomit.  For real.  I hate it. 

It was smoky, thus it was slightly less than perfect view-wise.  Nonetheless, the views were pretty good.

Amber walks along the ledge

I am pretty darn proud of myself.  Slowly I will conquor my fear and be limited only by a rational evaluation of risk.  I'd rather my brain be in control.  Visceral responses are unsettling.  Again, it comes back to control.  I didn't realize I was such a control freak :-)

Amber and Tom lead the downclimb

It's all worth it to experience these amazing places with amazing friends.